1. How do you feel?
Negative.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Compounded events of different nature.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
None at the moment.
1. How do you feel?
Refreshed.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
A good night sleep that temporarily remove my problems.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
Sleep earlier.
1. How do you feel?
Boring
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Managed to regain myself after seperating myself and no disturbing events had took place, however, I am bored of the shows that I watching through.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
Now I'm going to try to watch Jewel in the Palace, seeems like this is a vicious cycle trying from one thing to another but knowing all that it is likely that it's not going to work but nonetheless I'm still at it.
1. How do you feel?
Hanging on, onwards to the positive side.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
No incident to push down, spiral has recently stop, work hopefully will be copeable.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
To move on to the more jubilating side or breaking the bondage, possible measure it to break/gain acceptance into a group, getting that right character in mind.
1. How do you feel?
Almost the same as yesterday.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Not being upset(ed) by anything. However, today I do feel that the girl that I like (Mandy) was not feeling very right, she seems to be obsessed with the hp, something I've not seen her doin before, and she complains of being tired. But somehow, with me being very sensitive, I kinda sense that something dissappointing like somebody she like turned her down or something which cause her to be moody, with me liking her, kinda make me jealous, but other than that, it's everything as usual. Sometimes I get the feeling to just wanna reach out but that has in the past back fire so I'm trying my best not to do that for now.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
When the chance comes, I'm going to be jumping over to the other side of the fence.
In order to fill up the void that has been building up within me recently, I've decided to take up another personal academic challenge in hope that this will stir me back up and re-stimulate certain areas that I'm lacking badly in general. And on a side note talking about life, it seems that I do build up very very good relationship with my clients as they do remember me well and are kinda fond of me which makes me think I'm not too that bad although I kinda screw that up with my deteriorating psychological/mental health.
I do hope that I will have somebody or someone to take inspiration from when I'm lacking in the outside. I'm trying to rebuild myself back up again, I don't know whether it's possible or that this task will be too great a challenge for me, it seems that games will not be my target this time, it will be an academic challenge.
First, I will study calculus, then statistics, and then on the time that I've left and my position then, I will consider taking Acturial professional exams as a continious challenge.
1. How do you feel?
Content, although could be much better, still have thoughts on Mandy and she seems cold towards me. :(
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Working without any severe constrains faced, not really progressing nor regressing.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
Trying to take up calculus, sounds cool. :D
1. How do you feel?
I was kinda down a feel moments ago, decided to skip badminton today as it will be too hectic.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Happy that my friend Chia Ean called, message her again to remind her to make me sushi for me :D but she didn't reply me. Msged Foo Kong too whether he will be turnin up, end up no reply too.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
Seems that every happy moment could very quickly turn it to a bad event. I don't know whether it's possible but I do hope that someday I find happiness from within and not getting affected by such events anymore. To try not to be so emotional.
1. How do you feel?
Excited as I'm going out later despite the fact that I was fully impaired just now. Had a few moments with myself and get back to my normal self.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Impaired as I was so blur and I try to act pro, being a person that I'm not ought to be. But moments with myself managed to get myself into familar teritory.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
I have to established my core principle and stick to it rather than overstretching myself.
1. How do you feel?
Sleepy, suppose to start Calculus today.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Tired working day, don't really have a wholesame meal.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
It seems that afternoon is a day of sleepiness, my senses go dead at ths time and comes alive at night, I think it's the scorching weather.
1. How do you feel?
Tired and not very consistent with what I do thus not being able to feel the feel good factor but indirectly this has without a doubt put some form of expectation upon myself which might be unneccessary but then again, conforming to some form of standard isn't a bad thing. I remember I once throwed my standards away now ironically I'm trying to pick the pieces back up.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Late night at client place, jam whilst coming back, having to sit ktm and switching station making me kinda late back to home. But the most pull down factor of while will probably be back home where watching Malaysia having to go throught to me some humilatilation where they play against scrap players in which they kinda struggle, it's like the Koreans are indirectly insulting the Msians that we could even pull something out with our scrap but I do hope that this strategy of theirs will eat it back up to their very own face where they will be thrashed. Then I had my pool game in which I had moments of lapsed of concentration which has cause my game.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
In order to have a stable good character, certain standards will proabaly have to be met and perhaps I'm trying to achieve that at the moment. But well, I do hope that I could like in some way or another get to know more about Mandy, I kinda miss her lately. But maybe the most beautiful position is to be where I am, just an avid admirer, the feelings are probably better too as it could be overhyped and overimagined. :)
But certain things had to be done to overcome my negative position feelings. Till today I have yet to come out with a concrete solution to that increasing to be trying to be a permanent problem.
1. How do you feel?
Blur, stressed out and glad that work has ended. Looking forward to my calculus book and not so lookin forward to work.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Heavy workload and work which has no clear solution to a problem.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
Asking around on hpw to tackle the issue. Reduce distraction and increase feel good factor to face bad feel factor.
1. How do you feel?
Positive, hanging on to cope with work pressure.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
To have something to look forward that you feel could be beneficial to you and to imagine what you are about to encounter and knowing the quality that will be achieved could keep you positive and motivated despite harsh circumstances. Work is currently very pressing, all the work at hand is very tangled.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
To put in place more beneficial things to acquire and look forward to. Keep a detached self from your work.
Before I start, it's been a while since I last post and I wanted to say something about it. I wasnt really in a mood back then as it;s the holiday and at the same time I've forgotten about it as well. But maybe too it's that during this period i\m a little down and i dowan to talk anyting about it. Now that I've recuperated a little, it seems that it's vital for me to keep track of my thoughts pattern and trace for some similarities.
1. How do you feel?
Lookin forward to play my game. Recovered from some emotional down wave, I was probably in a way having expectations which couldn't be fulfilled. Plus I couldn't managed to have fun for quite some time now. Trying to do that now.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Downloaded a game and could manage to play it. Hope it's good. Was down few days ago and notably the thing that struck me most is that it's because i've missed Mandy too much. My fondness for her seems to be growing and at a certain point, I seem to be down as I couldn't get her, dunno what I'm feeling. But now it seems a little bit more sorted out, don't get me wrong, my feelings for her is still strong, but it's stops there, I have to clearly know that it's just feelings for her and it will stop at there. So, at times, when I want more, to dwelve more into the feeling so that I could get something stronger, I avoided it as I clearly know I couldnt get anything in return. Admiration is what I could do and let it stay as that.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
Again, my idea now is to have sustainable fun. I can't solve most of my existing problem at the moment so I will leave it as it is.
1. How do you feel?
Excited about my game, hopeful my work could scheduled work tomorrow.
2. Specific events that lead to occurrence of such feelings
Seems that imagination of gonna playin that game creates more excitement for that game then actually playing it.
3. Possible measures (if any) to be taken to overcome or sustain it.
None, maintain status quo. However, attention should be paid to your development soon.
Just to drop a note in case wondering the long abscence of post, it's because I don't really feel like doing so. But this does not mean I'm terribly negative or whatever, counterary, it;s probably the opposite, I feel the sentimentas had change couple of time that I no longer blog when I'm sad. I think in the past, I type so that I could let out certain things kept within me and to unleash it in a certain channel gives me certain satisfaction and confidence or some ways of hittings back at things I couldn't in the actual reality world.
However, as of late, I don't feel like tlaking much and I'm kept busy with some new found entertainment. So, for this temporary abscence, it could be considered as a holiday, holiday from this monitoring and if merits were to be put into it, you could put it on record that I'm neutral at normal circumstances, under tremendous pressure at times during work which creates alot of distress, happy when I'm levelling in the game albeit I'm alone. The instance is fun. :D